Senioritis has become one of the leading causes of students doing the bare minimum during school. According to the ever-reliable Urban Dictionary, senioritis is defined as:
“A disease affecting mostly high school seniors. Symptoms include laziness, lack of motivation, excessive absences, and putting everything off.”
Teachers have attempted to encourage seniors to put more effort into their work, but many report difficulties, as nearly half of the seniors are not actually in class.
Several common symptoms may help identify whether someone has contracted this contagious disease. Warning signs include walking unusually slowly in the hallways, carrying an uncharged Chromebook, forgetting writing utensils, or simply showing up to school without a backpack at all.
Even staff members have found the situation confusing. Many seniors arrive carrying coffee or energy drinks in an attempt to stay awake, yet they still somehow manage to fall asleep during first period.
This ongoing epidemic has reportedly caused GPA averages to drop so dramatically that some teachers are beginning to develop “graderitis,” a condition where teachers lose motivation to grade assignments they know were copied from Google five minutes before class.
Recent studies have also shown physical damage to classroom furniture. Experts claim the tops of student desks have started fading and deteriorating due to excessive sleeping during class periods. One teacher even reported discovering a senior from the Class of 2020 still asleep in the back corner of the room after moving a stack of unused textbooks.
Additional reports claim some seniors have started turning in song lyrics as assignments because they spend most of class listening to music through their AirPods instead of listening to instructions. Teachers have also noticed that students frequently ask for Chromebook chargers, only to use them for charging their phones instead of the actual Chromebook they forgot at home.
The yearbook staff has also faced difficulties covering the senior class this year. According to reports, many senior portraits either feature students looking exhausted or contain empty spaces because the seniors simply forgot to show up for picture day.
Some seniors have allegedly gone as far as paying underclassmen to attend class and complete assignments for them, although administrators say they are “looking into the situation.”
