‘The Madisonian’s’ Definitive List of the Best and Worst Halloween Candies

Halloween is a holiday that many people love. Who doesn’t want a day that revolves around scary movies, candy, and fun costumes? Each year almost 600 million pounds of Halloween candy are purchased by Americans. Some of these treats will have you jumping for joy, while others not so much. Nothing is worse than coming home and finding out that your neighbors went cheap on Halloween candy this year. You never want to be that neighbor that gets no trick-or-treaters because you hand out boxes of raisins, and with Halloween right around the corner, here is a definitive list of the five best and five worst candies to get on Halloween night. 

The upcoming list is five candies that are unbeatable in the ranking of candies trick-or-treaters yearn to get in their bags.

5. Milky Way:

This bite-size dreamy rich chocolate candy with a soft nougat filling and a sweet plethora of caramel will make you long for more. This milky way is an edible version of the stars that reside in our galaxy, but if you close your eyes and take a bite, I can assure you this combination of tasty flavors will make you feel like you’re floating in space.

4. Sour Patch Kids:

These sour and sweet treats offer some very needed flavor diversification on Halloween. These pieces of candy hit your taste buds with a shock wave of sourness that will make you wither with happiness. Once the sourness disintegrates in your mouth, you are left chewing on a sweet, enjoyable piece of soft gummy. They come in abundant colors, leaving an immaculate flavor in your mouth. If this candy does not inhabit your bag during Halloween, you will be left with a feeling of dismay.

3. Kit Kats:

A Kit Kat is one candy that you can’t go wrong with. Kit Kats are a chocolate-covered wafer bar of perfection. A sweet treat that consists of three layers of wafers separated and saturated with an outer layer of decadent chocolate. These holy grail Halloween confectionaries come in attractive red packaging that you can spot from a mile away. They consist of two mini chocolate bars; if you’re lucky, you might get four. At the end of the night, this candy will have you wailing, “break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.”

2. M&M’s:

There is something so comforting about eating these classic candies. Even when faced with the hard decision of what treat you should dig into, M & M’s are always trustworthy. These colorful button-shaped chocolates are hard to miss, with the distinctive lowercase letter’ “m” printed on the candy shell surrounding a small mass of mouth-watering chocolate. Whether you eat a handful or just one, they will have you reaching into your bag for more.

1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups:

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are unbeatable when discussing the number 1 spot for the best candy to receive on Halloween. These candies come in a gleaming orange package, and upon opening this luscious treat, you will be met with a ridged, flat piece of suave peanut butter that joins forces with lovely rich chocolate to create the finest Halloween candy. This candy is the apotheosis of all peanut butter and chocolate treats. Hopefully, if you find yourself blessed with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups on Halloween, you will end the night feeling as satisfied as you can be.

This upcoming list of five candies is what trick-or-treaters consider the duds of Halloween, and I’m not talking about Milk Duds, even though they are just plain awful.

5. Dum-Dums:

There is one place where you can trick or treat all year round: the bank. These dime-sized lollipops are pervasive and shouldn’t be considered Halloween candy.

4. Tootsie rolls:

Putting a tootsie roll in a trick-or-treater’s bag is downright offensive. These treats are just small bites of despair. Pop a tootsie roll in your mouth if you enjoy eating a log of plastic chocolate. The shape, taste, and texture of this candy are repulsive, and you almost have to break a tooth to chew it up, and for some reason, fruit ones are lurking around that are also not any better than the original ones. Some may say they are even worse. Most trick-or-treaters let these sit at the bottom of their bag until December.

3. Candy Corn:

This is a very controversial candy. It seems to be popular every year when Halloween rolls around. Still, nobody seems to like the candy beside the people clinging to loving memories of their childhood. This candy has a gross waxy taste, and if you can power through the putrid texture and still like it, you deserve some awards. It is basically candle wax and corn syrup. There is nothing special about it, and it’s not something most people brag about eating. Perhaps the candy’s yellow, orange and white colors convince people it is a Halloween tradition but essentially just tri-colored ear wax.

2. Strawberry candies:

Congratulations, you have arrived at the devil’s house and made it out alive. What even are these candies? These sad excuses for treats are often seen in a dish that sits at your grandma’s table until you graduate college. They are concrete pieces of red trash that do not have a memorable flavor, and when you finally decide to work up the courage to bite down, you are met with a mouthful of rancid goo. Do not be the neighbor that gives these out on Halloween night.

1. Anything but candy:

I think we can all agree that no kid wants to be met with the presence of an apple when they knock on your door. Some people may have an issue with giving a kid sweets when the whole point of trick or treating is receiving candy, but if you’re going to throw a toothbrush or pennies in a poor child’s bag, you might as well keep your light off and return to your sad night of watching the news.